What To Do With A Man Who Has Commitment Phobia?

Published: 23rd August 2006
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Falling in love with someone is the easy part of a relationship. Commitment to each other will come in time, as the need arises. Some men are more likely to feel the need to marry while others do not. The man who is ready to commit to marriage is able to say without a doubt they have no problems taking risks. A marriage is a risk, one that will involve both of you together for the rest of your life. A marriage is based on how comfortable one feels not only with the other person, but also with their self at the same time. Some men never will commit, never asks a woman to marry, but will live and be with one woman for the rest of their life.

Marriage is a piece of paper giving two people additional reasons to fight for each other, to stay together, and to boast to the world about their love for each other. The man who chooses not to marry isn't trying to say he doesn't love you, but that he is afraid of failing, afraid of making the wrong choices in life, that he is not sure you are going to be happy with him for the rest of your life. Commitment is a big word for some, and in this day and age, where divorce happens with such a high rate it is no wonder that some men are not going to want to commit to a relationship for the rest of their lives.

How Do You Get Him To Commit or Say "Yes"

Getting a man to commit and say yes is going to be difficult if you have been in a long-term relationship, and he has not committed to marriage yet. Men who are comfortable with the relationship they have are not looking for change. It is possible that the man doesn't know anyone who is happily married. Perhaps the first step in getting him to think about marriage is to be with other couples that are married. He will soon find out that others who are married face the same problems that you do as a couple so you already have the battle down to a science.

You have been able to live together for four years, so why not get married. Ask him about his fears, and what you can do to change it. If he still avoids the subject, perhaps it is time for you to move on in life. Only you can make that final decision though. No one is going to be able to tell you if you are better off without him, or that you are better off finding someone who will commit. Many men and women have been in relationships for years, for their entire lives, and never made that final step and they have lived a full and happy life even with children.

How To Decide Whether You Should Stay or Leave The Relationship?

Deciding to stay in a relationship is going to be based on how much you love the man, how much you have invested in the relationship and just how happy you are. If being married is really all that important to you, and your man is not going to make that step any time in the next year you should move on. If you are happy, you are in a monogamous relationship, and you have children together, it could be in your best interest to stay with the man even if he is not going to marry you.

Many relationships will last a lifetime without that paper that says you are committed to each other. Many men are afraid of marriage because they love the thrill of pleasing you, and making you fall in love with them again every chance they get. Just because a man can't offer you marriage does not mean you have nothing to look forward too. A man who is jumping into a marriage, is one, that you should avoid getting further involved with if you are not sure you love him. If you have been living with a man for more than two years, you have come to learn much about each other. You know each other's habits, but you have still so many things to learn about each other. If we were to tell you to leave the man who won't marry you, we would be wrong. If we were to tell you to stay with that man who won't marry you, we are still wrong. This is a personal choice only you can make.

You have to determine how much you love the man, how much you want to be involved in his life, and how much you want to be near him everyday. If there is any chance you are not happy, that you are not where you want to be in life, you should leave and search for a new man to love. If you are happy and you are satisfied, you should stay where you are in your relationship and enjoy it to the fullest potential you can.

Is There Any Way You Can Get Him To Commit?

Commitment is a word, a piece of paper. If you are already living with the man, you have a commitment. If your man brings home the paycheck to support you and the children, you are already involved in a commitment.

There really is no way you are going to get him to commit. You can make him understand how important it is to you, and you can tell him this is what you really want in life, but you can't force him to do it or in the long run, he is only going to regret going ahead with the marriage only to please you. You may get what you want, and then, feel as if you have no challenge left in the relationship and want something else like a divorce. Be happy with what you have, and learn to live, love and survive in this crazy world.

What Are The Things I Should Know About Him But Am Not Been Told In Schools?
It is important to realize that if you were to get pregnant on purpose, thinking this is going to make him marry you, you are wrong. If you think that making him jealous is going to make him pop the question, you are wrong. To truly love a man is to love a man the way he is, without strings attached, and accepting the relationship and the commitment you have made together. If marriage happens, it happens and it will be because both of you want it!

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